Various situations can cause a rift in a family. The most common one appears to be divorce or abandonment, considering the exes can’t co-parent, and the kids can’t grow up with mom and dad in the same house. When teens decide to do things their way and disobey every rule, they may end up going away and not talking to their loved ones. A conflict can also come if the son or daughter chooses to love someone whom their parents do not approve of. Instead of making their loved ones see why they have fallen for that person, they leave and insist that they can live happily even without their family.
The thing is, if you want to succeed in anything, you need to mend your relationship with your loved ones. I am not saying it because your family may have connections that you can never have. Even if your parents or siblings do not own a chain of hotels or have old money, you should make up with them. Here’s why.
Lack Of Ill Feelings Towards Anyone Invites Positivity
The first reason why you should make amends with your loved ones is that negative feelings can attract nothing but negativity. As Ryan M. Niemiec Psy.D. elaborates, “The strength of forgiveness has been shown to have a powerful buffering effect on stress. Those who are highly forgiving of themselves and others have a far less chance of having a mental illness.” For instance, you may resent your mom and dad for not giving their blessing when you introduced your boyfriend or girlfriend to them. You are probably angry at your parents for separating and leaving you to live with your grandparents.
What you should realize is that the past is the past. Continuing to harbor ill feelings towards anyone will keep you from inviting positivity. The latter is a crucial ingredient to success, so how will you survive without it?
You Cannot Stay On An Island Forever
I don’t know what it is about being in love, but a lot of people tend to act as if their special someone is all they need in life. They typically say, “Who cares if I don’t have to see my parents anymore? My man (or woman) is all I want.” Alternatively, “I can go through anything without my family.”
Your stubborn, childish side may bring such words. Your loved ones may not be agreeing with everything you say; that’s why you utter the words that you don’t mean. Truth be told, you may regret saying those awful things, especially when you realize that it turns you into an island that’s too closed off to visit. Thus, you can’t be successful that way.
It Feels Good To Know That More People Can Back You Up Anytime
It seems rare for someone to leave their family on their own. Often, they find the courage to do so because there’s another person or group of individuals who are supposed to catch them. That’s what usually happens when a daughter falls head over heels, or a son finds a strong connection towards his new friends. When either relationship does not last, therefore, they become more miserable than ever. “By building a list of people that you trust, with whom you can talk to in times of need, you allow yourself a strong sense of not being alone.” David Klow, a licensed therapist often says.
Now, with family members to back you up, you may still experience failure, but it may not bother you as much as when you are alone. After all, they can distract you from your problems and help you get back on your feet. And if someone makes you cry, you can be sure that they will avenge you at some point or at least trash talk whoever that person is in front of you.
Don’t wait for years to make amends with your family. Whether you or another relative has caused the problem, and it is technically similar to the situations mentioned above, you should not hesitate to call your loved ones and do everything so that they will take you back. “We only have control of ourselves and our own desire for growth and change. Part of that growth and change is deciding the type of person we allow in our lives, and the positive impact they can have on us.” Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. LCPC said.
Remember the things mentioned above to melt the ice that is probably covering your heart if it still hasn’t. Good luck!